I knew that I was doing something that I was not supposed to

Sander had a sexual relationship with Henk, an adult man who was 18 years his senior. He was 11 when it started and the relationship ended when he was 16.

Taken from the collection Positive Memories, compiled by T. Rivas.

Source: ‘Sander’ von Jan Lievense; GG (Gezond Gezin) (Maandblad over relaties en seksualiteit), and 18, Heft 12, Dezember 1979 Link


Sander: “I knew that I was doing something that I was not supposed to. But I never felt sorry for it and I never felt threatened. [..] What I experienced and learned was very special and very nice. Henk was very kind and sweet.”

Henk made him discover what spots on his body felt good and all he could do with them. The sexual contact was always different, and each time he made a new discovery, though they never had anal sex.

After he was interviewed about the relationship (at age 18), Sander realised he felt guilty because he had stopped seeing Henk when he was 16. He visited him and, for the last time, they had sex together.