I always had the feeling that I was doing something wrong

This report comes from the research of Dr. Frits Bernard. Dr. Bernard cites it as one of six examples of ‘characteristic’ biographies on the impact of boy-man relationships.
[Case 1](/en/reports/1960s/en-fb-case-1/), [Case 2](/en/reports/1960s/en-fb-case-2/), [Case 3](/en/reports/1960s/en-fb-case-3/), Case 4 (this), [Case 5](/en/reports/1910s/en-fb-case-5/), [Case 6](/en/reports/1960s/en-fb-case-6/)

Source: PAN Vol. 1, Nr. 3, 1979

I must have been 14 or 15 at the time of my first sexual encounter with a man of about 30. I enjoyed these experiences. Now, as an adult, I see that earlier period just as a part of my life, a part that belongs to me.

I am now married and have four children. People with this inclination should fit into our society and our society should accept this as natural. But it will be a very long time before this happens.

My earlier contacts of this kind were so upsetting to my parents that, at the time, I always had the feeling that I was doing something wrong. Now I see it as part of a personal experience which I would not like to see removed from my life.