I felt a lot of guilt because I was supposed to testify in court

In the German book Herausforderung Pädophilie, by psychologists Claudia Schwarze and Dr. Gernot Hahn, a client from a therapy group has his say. He reports what effects his older friend’s arrest had on him.

Source: Herausforderung Pädophilie. Beratung, Selbsthilfe, Prävention“ by Claudia Schwarze and Dr. Gernot Hahn. 2. edition, 2020. Psychatrie Verlag. ISBN: 978-3-96605-010-4

Translated by JUMIMA
Original German text


The questioning and contacts with the police and judges following a criminal complaint can also be a burdening consequence of sexual abuse. In retrospect, Jens (39), a client from our therapy group, reports:

“I was just 13 when I met Gerhard. I thought he was really great, his personality, what he was capable of doing, but also physically. He had always done a lot of sports and looked good. I liked him. We then had a real relationship and also sex. That was really nice. Gerhard was so tender to me. It wasn’t just in and out and done. I just thought it was stupid that the whole thing had to be kept secret. I knew that he shouldn’t do what he was doing. And of course I was embarrassed. If they’d found out at school … I didn’t even want to imagine that. The relationship with Gerhard only became a burden when everything was exposed and he was convicted. I was really shocked. I had the feeling that nothing bad had been happening, and yet they send him to jail. I felt a lot of guilt because I was supposed to testify in court.”