Taken from the collection Positive Memories, compiled by T. Rivas.
Kadoedel (pronounced as Kahdoodle) is the pseudonym of a retired Dutch engineer born in 1926 in Batavia, in the Dutch Indies (present-day Indonesia).
In June of the year 2007, Rivas visited him at his home and Kadoedel told him about a sexual relationship with a man, Emiel, which he used to have from the age of thirteen and which developed out of a platonic contact that started earlier, when he was eleven or twelve. The man headed a local pottery in Bandung, and he lived in the same neighborhood as Kadoedel’s family.
Kadoedel told Rivas the sexual relationship was something of a physical necessity for him as he felt he needed to be sexually satisfied by another person. It started when he spontaneously showed Emiel his erection and his body talk told the man he wanted to get a hand job. At first, Emiel did not feel like complying with Kadoedel’s desire, but in the end he gave in and they started a rather peculiar relationship. Emiel never showed any signs of a desire to be satisfied by Kadoedel and the boy even wondered if he might be a war invalid. Emiel did not even seem to be aroused and he never expressed any sexual wishes. The sex was limited to Emiel’s manual stimulation of Kadoedel’s erect penis.
The relationship lasted for several years, and after the family returned to Batavia, Kadoedel got invited many times for a stay at Emiel’s place which was combined with some kind of safari expeditions. After the war, when Kadoedel had left the Japanese camp where he was interned, he visited Emiel for the last time. Emiel satisfied him one last time, though Kadoedel felt alienated because of the years of separation. Kadoedel was about seventeen at the time.
In general, their relationship was quite superficial, and apart from the sex there was hardly any physical, let alone emotional intimacy. As neither of them was very talkative, they did not have any long, deep conversations with each other either. Kadoedel was certainly not in love with Emiel and he did not even feel particularly attracted to him sexually. He simply needed ‘a hand’ to satisfy his urge.
Kadoedel can’t remember any negative episodes or traumas that would have affected his later years. He’s very much in favor of a positive outlook on voluntary ‘pedophile’ relationships.